Zombies & Porn - what's that about?

Really ... I want to know. What is it about? What makes film makers think that zombies and porn are a good fit?

I know the film makers will think .... people like zombies and people like porn, surely they'll like zombie porn even more. But after the drugs have worn off surely that little idea should have been abandoned? Nobody thinks zombies are sexy (apart from necrophiliacs who are probably put off by the whole reanimated thang), not even advertising execs who manage to think washing up liquid and chicken nuggets are sexy.

Still zombie porn exists. Nobody really asked for it but there it is. And those of us who are sad zombie completists probably have a few titles stashed in our collection.

But let's look at some of these titles anyway.

Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead


There's actually a half enjoyable zombie film hidden in this mish mash of zombies & porn. The trouble is that it falls between two stools are is neither one thing or the other. The hardcore scenes seem strangely truncated and the zombies don't have enough to do. The cut version snips out the hardcore footage and makes for a slightly more satisfying zombie film but it still feels like a lost opportunity from director Joe D'Amato.

Porno Holocaust


Joe has previous though. He also directed this atrocity. Unattractive people have sex while a radioactive mutants stalks the island and rapes women to death. And that's pretty much the plot right there.

Otto, or Up With Dead People


Technically, not really porn but it's still not something you'd watch with your great aunt in the room. Otto is a confused young zombie who falls in with a experimental film maker and has some (not very) erotic adventures. This film is famous for a particular scene where a zombie victim, in mid-disembowelment, starts making out with his zombie attacker, who then graphically penetrates the victim's stomach wound. imo, the film tries to be artistic and shocking and fails on both counts.

Porn Of The Dead


The usual unerotic porn performers, overly muscled, shaved, tattooed screw while wearing bad zombie make up with fake blood and gore splashed about. At least the dead behind the eyes look these people sport serves a purpose here.

Grub Girl


Based on the comic by Edward Lee, this tale of a reanimated corpse who drifts into prostitution (the undead are considered perfect for the job being resistant to pain or disease), actually works. Not necessarily as a zombie film and not necessarily as a porn film but it works, kinda.

The Night Of The Giving Head


There are actually three films out there with this title, two hetero and one gay, so you could be playing masturbation russian roulette if you don't check which version you have (unless you're bi, natch).

The 2008 version deals with an epidemic which renders all women "sperm zombies" who after tasting sperm, crave sperm and seek out men to drain them. The men, upon ejaculating, are rendered unconscious. Oh, and if a "sperm zombie" kisses an unaffected women, she becomes a sperm zombie too. But they can be cured by spraying whipped cream into their mouths.

Really.

No, really. I'm not making this up.

And the cause of the epidemic? Global Warming.

Honestly, I am not making this up.

I haven't touched Dawna Of The Dead, Dong Of The Dead, Repenetrator or Erotic Orgasm (and possibly a million others) because I haven't seen them and I have no desire to see them. I'm all zom-porned out.