Why Zombies?

So .... why zombies?

Why why why?

I suppose "just because" isn't going to cut it so why do I spend precious time on zombie flicks? I have well over 300 zombie films sitting on my shelves and, to be quite frank, a fair percentage are crap. Enjoyable crap? Yes, mostly but why watch a shot on video effort directed by someone who only just got a shiny new digital camcorder for their 18th birthday (with the script written by their girlfriend's dog) as opposed to the works of Tarkovsky or Traffaut?

George Romero has to shoulder a lot of the blame on two counts. Firstly without Night Of The Living Dead, the countless imitators wouldn't have had a template to follow. Secondly, without Night, Dawn & Day, the millions of zombie fans wouldn't have gotten hooked on the genre.

Okay, but why continue with other films in the same genre when only a handful are classics?

A) Zombies are unsettling in a way which vampires, werewolves and the modern day monster, the slasher, just aren't.

• They can't be reasoned with. All they want to do is eat you and won't be bought off with a curly wurly.
• They have numbers on their side. For the most part they number in the millions (even if it looks like the director has employed six of his mates in a variety of unconvincing wigs to create the illusion of millions).
• They used to be us.

B) Generally the films are fun. There's a number of reasons for this.

• The genre attracts nascent directors. Firstly because zombie films sell so that's always a plus. Secondly, zombies are cheap to make - white face make-up with a bit of black under the eyes, a splash of fake blood and Bob's your undead uncle. Young directors have energy (often misplaced and misdirected but hey-ho!) so even if the end product stinks, at least you sense they had fun making it.
• You don't need contrived plots when there's zombies around. Terrorists are holding the president's poodle hostage, you say? Screw that, there's a bunch of zombie trying to break down the door.
• Because zombie conventions are firmly in place, it allows film makers to play with and against those conventions - see Shaun Of The Dead, The Special Dead (and to a lesser extent RetarDEAD), Zombabies, What To Do In A Zombie Attack and the countless zombie porn knock offs.
• Zombies will never be Twilighted. Sure zombie films have had romance in them (Return Of The Living Dead 3, Zombie Honeymoon, Wasting Away etc.) but you'll not find many 12 year olds girls with zombie posters on their walls.

C) Zombies will never be respectable. They are the rebels of the monster world.

Danny Boyle won his Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire, not 28 Days Later. Even though Shaun Of The Dead & 28 Days Later won plaudits, they haven't shifted the view amongst mainstream viewers that zombie films are grubby and a wee bit nasty.