Friday 4 June 2010
Wednesday 2 June 2010
Monday 31 May 2010
Sunday 30 May 2010
Carrie : The remake
Okay so it's eight years old but I finally got around to watching the made for tv remake of Carrie. To be honest, I'd argue that it isn't a remake, just another adapatation of Stephen King's source. In my world a remake is only a remake when the original film is based on an original idea and not a novel, comic or television series.
Anyway, onto 2002's Carrie. It's actually not bad. By not bad I mean it's not as good as De Palma's Carrie but it's a passable watch. Angela Bettis makes for a vulnerable Carrie and your heart breaks for her. Patricia Clarkson manages to make the part of Carrie's mother marginally sympathetic. The effects, aided by good old cgi, allow Carrie's final telekenetic rampage to show things the 1976 version couldn't hope to show. It's made for tv origins shine through though in it's lack of blood (pig blood and menstrual blood aside) and it's a crying shame. It largely sticks closer to the book than De Palma's version but De Palma made his changes to make the film more cinematic - sticking closely to the book isn't always a good thing (compare the two versions of The Shining for example).
Where it does differ from the book is the ending. Look away now if you don't want to know the ending.
LOOK AWAY.
NOW.
Still here?
Okay in De Palma's version Carrie dies and Sue Snell has a dream sequence where Carrie's hand bursts from her grave to grab her arm.
In the novel, Carrie dies but a letter at the end indicates another young girl may have inherited her powers.
In the remake, Carrie lives. Yep, Sue Snell finds her near death, under water in her bath and revives her. And they drive away to have further adventures. Seriously.
So why did they make this change? Because they wanted to turn Carrie into a tv series in the wake of The Dead Zone's success. But while The Dead Zone lent itself to an ongoing story, Carrie didn't.
The plan was for her to move to Florida to help other young telekenetics with their powers.
Incidentally, Firestarter 2 was also meant to kick start a tv series which never happened.
So what other King works could the tv execs exploit for a series or two?
Cujo : Think the littlest hobbo but with a rabid St. Bernard. Cujo comes into town, helps a local in need with their problem, gives them rabies and then departs for pastures new. That's televisual gold right there.
The Shining : A new family move into the Overlook each week. One member is possessed by the hotel and goes into a murderous rage. Hijinks ensue.
Misery : Annie Wilkes starts an agency to help writers get over writers block. With a little tlc and a sledgehammer, she pushes her clients to produce their best work ever.
Christine : A wacky sit-com about a boy and his psychopathic car. See Christine make his owner late for the prom by mowing down a bus queue. See Christine mess up his pizza delivery service by running over the head of a customer who didn't like her paint job.
The Stand : As aired by Fox - Randall Flagg bears an uncanny similarity to Barack Obama and Mother Abagail is a white creationist Republican. Each week Mother Abagail's people uncover outlandish conspiracies (additives to the water are turning people into Muslims, there are hidden communist messages in the DNA of racoons, etc.) and thwartObama's Flagg's evil plans.
Anyway, onto 2002's Carrie. It's actually not bad. By not bad I mean it's not as good as De Palma's Carrie but it's a passable watch. Angela Bettis makes for a vulnerable Carrie and your heart breaks for her. Patricia Clarkson manages to make the part of Carrie's mother marginally sympathetic. The effects, aided by good old cgi, allow Carrie's final telekenetic rampage to show things the 1976 version couldn't hope to show. It's made for tv origins shine through though in it's lack of blood (pig blood and menstrual blood aside) and it's a crying shame. It largely sticks closer to the book than De Palma's version but De Palma made his changes to make the film more cinematic - sticking closely to the book isn't always a good thing (compare the two versions of The Shining for example).
Where it does differ from the book is the ending. Look away now if you don't want to know the ending.
LOOK AWAY.
NOW.
Still here?
Okay in De Palma's version Carrie dies and Sue Snell has a dream sequence where Carrie's hand bursts from her grave to grab her arm.
In the novel, Carrie dies but a letter at the end indicates another young girl may have inherited her powers.
In the remake, Carrie lives. Yep, Sue Snell finds her near death, under water in her bath and revives her. And they drive away to have further adventures. Seriously.
So why did they make this change? Because they wanted to turn Carrie into a tv series in the wake of The Dead Zone's success. But while The Dead Zone lent itself to an ongoing story, Carrie didn't.
The plan was for her to move to Florida to help other young telekenetics with their powers.
Incidentally, Firestarter 2 was also meant to kick start a tv series which never happened.
So what other King works could the tv execs exploit for a series or two?
Cujo : Think the littlest hobbo but with a rabid St. Bernard. Cujo comes into town, helps a local in need with their problem, gives them rabies and then departs for pastures new. That's televisual gold right there.
The Shining : A new family move into the Overlook each week. One member is possessed by the hotel and goes into a murderous rage. Hijinks ensue.
Misery : Annie Wilkes starts an agency to help writers get over writers block. With a little tlc and a sledgehammer, she pushes her clients to produce their best work ever.
Christine : A wacky sit-com about a boy and his psychopathic car. See Christine make his owner late for the prom by mowing down a bus queue. See Christine mess up his pizza delivery service by running over the head of a customer who didn't like her paint job.
The Stand : As aired by Fox - Randall Flagg bears an uncanny similarity to Barack Obama and Mother Abagail is a white creationist Republican. Each week Mother Abagail's people uncover outlandish conspiracies (additives to the water are turning people into Muslims, there are hidden communist messages in the DNA of racoons, etc.) and thwart
Saturday 29 May 2010
Friday 28 May 2010
Thursday 27 May 2010
Monday 24 May 2010
Sunday 23 May 2010
Friday 21 May 2010
Thursday 20 May 2010
Wednesday 19 May 2010
Tuesday 18 May 2010
What I've learned from John Carpenter films.
Prince Of Darkness - The homeless are evil and must die.
They Live - The rich are evil and must die.
The Thing - Your friends and colleagues are evil and must die.
In The Mouth Of Madness - Writers are evil and must die.
Christine - Cars are evil and must die.
The Fog - The weather is evil and must die.
Memoirs Of An Invisible Man - Chevy Chase is evil and must die.
They Live - The rich are evil and must die.
The Thing - Your friends and colleagues are evil and must die.
In The Mouth Of Madness - Writers are evil and must die.
Christine - Cars are evil and must die.
The Fog - The weather is evil and must die.
Memoirs Of An Invisible Man - Chevy Chase is evil and must die.
Monday 17 May 2010
Song Of The Dead - Zombie Musical Review Part 1
Firstly, I thought this was going to be part 1 of 3, stupidly thinking that there were only 3 Zombie Musicals in existence - WRONG!
Part 1 is this, Song Of The Dead.
Part 2 will be Night Of The Musical Dead
Part 3 will be Maelstrom : A Zombie Opera.
Just after I typed the title in I discovered lots more - Z : A Zombie Musical, Half Alive : The Zombie Musical, People Of None Effect and more...... I've (hopefully) got in touch with some of creators of these films to see if there's any way I can get a DVD.
There's bound to be at least one Bollywood Zombie film too so this series could easily be open ended.
Anyway onto Song Of The Dead.
The film starts with a zombie encountering and then chomping on a victim. So far so every other zombie film on the face of the planet. Of course, being a musical, the victim bursts into song before expiring. When he reanimates he sings what becomes the zombies signature song "Flesh & Blood".
We switch to what has to be a homage to Night Of The Living Dead. Sandy King & her boyfriend Brad are visiting her mother's grave (we get a song about her loss natch) when a zombie attacks. They are saved by a caretaker (who gets infected) and they make their getaway when the inevitable zombie horde shows up.
The caretaker infects Brad and they hole up at the King family residence with her USAF brother, Vietnam vet dad and serial killer neighbour.
News reports indicate that a spray mission was sabotaged by terrorists with something called JRV (Jihad Resurrection Virus) which has brought the dead back to life. This is announced by a singing, dancing President, played by Reggie Bannister (yes, of Phantasm fame). Perhaps they should do a musical remake of Phantasm, complete with flying disco balls. These portions, complete with "patriotic" songs "United We Stand" & "Terrorist Attack", are possibly the weakest with sledgehammer heavy satire against blind patriotism. Reggie does a mean line in "dad dancing" though.
Musicals stand or fall on their songs though. So how does Song Of The Dead fare? The music by The Unfashionables tends to be bright and cheery on the whole, juxtapositioned against the zombie onslaught. I could perhaps have done without the constant reprises of "Flesh & Blood". And who'd have thought choreographed dancing zombies would be such an appealing sight?
All in all, it might not be a classic but it's a diverting way of spending 86 minutes of your life. It's certainly a welcome change to the Romero-lite offerings which pollute the zombie genre.
Part 1 is this, Song Of The Dead.
Part 2 will be Night Of The Musical Dead
Part 3 will be Maelstrom : A Zombie Opera.
Just after I typed the title in I discovered lots more - Z : A Zombie Musical, Half Alive : The Zombie Musical, People Of None Effect and more...... I've (hopefully) got in touch with some of creators of these films to see if there's any way I can get a DVD.
There's bound to be at least one Bollywood Zombie film too so this series could easily be open ended.
Anyway onto Song Of The Dead.
The film starts with a zombie encountering and then chomping on a victim. So far so every other zombie film on the face of the planet. Of course, being a musical, the victim bursts into song before expiring. When he reanimates he sings what becomes the zombies signature song "Flesh & Blood".
We switch to what has to be a homage to Night Of The Living Dead. Sandy King & her boyfriend Brad are visiting her mother's grave (we get a song about her loss natch) when a zombie attacks. They are saved by a caretaker (who gets infected) and they make their getaway when the inevitable zombie horde shows up.
The caretaker infects Brad and they hole up at the King family residence with her USAF brother, Vietnam vet dad and serial killer neighbour.
News reports indicate that a spray mission was sabotaged by terrorists with something called JRV (Jihad Resurrection Virus) which has brought the dead back to life. This is announced by a singing, dancing President, played by Reggie Bannister (yes, of Phantasm fame). Perhaps they should do a musical remake of Phantasm, complete with flying disco balls. These portions, complete with "patriotic" songs "United We Stand" & "Terrorist Attack", are possibly the weakest with sledgehammer heavy satire against blind patriotism. Reggie does a mean line in "dad dancing" though.
Musicals stand or fall on their songs though. So how does Song Of The Dead fare? The music by The Unfashionables tends to be bright and cheery on the whole, juxtapositioned against the zombie onslaught. I could perhaps have done without the constant reprises of "Flesh & Blood". And who'd have thought choreographed dancing zombies would be such an appealing sight?
All in all, it might not be a classic but it's a diverting way of spending 86 minutes of your life. It's certainly a welcome change to the Romero-lite offerings which pollute the zombie genre.
A shout out to Stag Night Of The Dead
http://www.stagnightofthedead.com/
This upcoming British zombie film looks like it's the real deal.
Look out for it.
This upcoming British zombie film looks like it's the real deal.
Look out for it.
Sunday 16 May 2010
Zombie animals part 6 - Zombie Squirrel
And I've changed Zombie Chimp and Zombie Rhino since I wasn't happy with how they turned out the first time.
Saturday 15 May 2010
Friday 14 May 2010
Zombie animals part 1 - Zombie Chimp
Okay, I'm going to run with the zombie animal idea (at least until I get bored of it) so to kick things off ... Zombie Chimp.
Zombie animals
After watching Survival Of The Dead
, was anyone else disappointed that the horse didn't turn after it was bitten?
Overall there's a disappointing lack of zombie animals in films. You've got the half dog and butterflies in Return Of The Living Dead ...
You've got that strange zombie poodle thing in Boneyard
& of course zombie sheep in Black Sheep, and the crows/ravens & dogs in Resident Evil...
There's the cat in Pet Semetary ....
Zombie chickens in Poultrygeist
& Zombeak!
....
Zombie horses got a mention in The Special Dead
but then failed to appear ...
After that, it's thin on the ground. We need a Zombie Zoo movie. Zombie elephants, zombie tigers, zombie snakes & of course zombie monkeys. Who wouldn't love zombie monkeys in a movie? The concept sells itself.
, was anyone else disappointed that the horse didn't turn after it was bitten?Overall there's a disappointing lack of zombie animals in films. You've got the half dog and butterflies in Return Of The Living Dead ...
You've got that strange zombie poodle thing in Boneyard & of course zombie sheep in Black Sheep, and the crows/ravens & dogs in Resident Evil...There's the cat in Pet Semetary ....
Zombie chickens in Poultrygeist
& Zombeak! ....Zombie horses got a mention in The Special Dead
but then failed to appear ...After that, it's thin on the ground. We need a Zombie Zoo movie. Zombie elephants, zombie tigers, zombie snakes & of course zombie monkeys. Who wouldn't love zombie monkeys in a movie? The concept sells itself.
Zombies & Porn - what's that about?
Really ... I want to know. What is it about? What makes film makers think that zombies and porn are a good fit?
I know the film makers will think .... people like zombies and people like porn, surely they'll like zombie porn even more. But after the drugs have worn off surely that little idea should have been abandoned? Nobody thinks zombies are sexy (apart from necrophiliacs who are probably put off by the whole reanimated thang), not even advertising execs who manage to think washing up liquid and chicken nuggets are sexy.
Still zombie porn exists. Nobody really asked for it but there it is. And those of us who are sad zombie completists probably have a few titles stashed in our collection.
But let's look at some of these titles anyway.
Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead
There's actually a half enjoyable zombie film hidden in this mish mash of zombies & porn. The trouble is that it falls between two stools are is neither one thing or the other. The hardcore scenes seem strangely truncated and the zombies don't have enough to do. The cut version
snips out the hardcore footage and makes for a slightly more satisfying zombie film but it still feels like a lost opportunity from director Joe D'Amato.
Porno Holocaust
Joe has previous though. He also directed this atrocity. Unattractive people have sex while a radioactive mutants stalks the island and rapes women to death. And that's pretty much the plot right there.
Otto, or Up With Dead People
Technically, not really porn but it's still not something you'd watch with your great aunt in the room. Otto is a confused young zombie who falls in with a experimental film maker and has some (not very) erotic adventures. This film is famous for a particular scene where a zombie victim, in mid-disembowelment, starts making out with his zombie attacker, who then graphically penetrates the victim's stomach wound. imo, the film tries to be artistic and shocking and fails on both counts.
Porn Of The Dead
The usual unerotic porn performers, overly muscled, shaved, tattooed screw while wearing bad zombie make up with fake blood and gore splashed about. At least the dead behind the eyes look these people sport serves a purpose here.
Grub Girl
Based on the comic by Edward Lee, this tale of a reanimated corpse who drifts into prostitution (the undead are considered perfect for the job being resistant to pain or disease), actually works. Not necessarily as a zombie film and not necessarily as a porn film but it works, kinda.
The Night Of The Giving Head
There are actually three films out there with this title, two hetero and one gay, so you could be playing masturbation russian roulette if you don't check which version you have (unless you're bi, natch).
The 2008 version deals with an epidemic which renders all women "sperm zombies" who after tasting sperm, crave sperm and seek out men to drain them. The men, upon ejaculating, are rendered unconscious. Oh, and if a "sperm zombie" kisses an unaffected women, she becomes a sperm zombie too. But they can be cured by spraying whipped cream into their mouths.
Really.
No, really. I'm not making this up.
And the cause of the epidemic? Global Warming.
Honestly, I am not making this up.
I haven't touched Dawna Of The Dead, Dong Of The Dead, Repenetrator or Erotic Orgasm (and possibly a million others) because I haven't seen them and I have no desire to see them. I'm all zom-porned out.
I know the film makers will think .... people like zombies and people like porn, surely they'll like zombie porn even more. But after the drugs have worn off surely that little idea should have been abandoned? Nobody thinks zombies are sexy (apart from necrophiliacs who are probably put off by the whole reanimated thang), not even advertising execs who manage to think washing up liquid and chicken nuggets are sexy.
Still zombie porn exists. Nobody really asked for it but there it is. And those of us who are sad zombie completists probably have a few titles stashed in our collection.
But let's look at some of these titles anyway.
Erotic Nights Of The Living DeadThere's actually a half enjoyable zombie film hidden in this mish mash of zombies & porn. The trouble is that it falls between two stools are is neither one thing or the other. The hardcore scenes seem strangely truncated and the zombies don't have enough to do. The cut version
snips out the hardcore footage and makes for a slightly more satisfying zombie film but it still feels like a lost opportunity from director Joe D'Amato.Porno Holocaust
Joe has previous though. He also directed this atrocity. Unattractive people have sex while a radioactive mutants stalks the island and rapes women to death. And that's pretty much the plot right there.
Otto, or Up With Dead People
Technically, not really porn but it's still not something you'd watch with your great aunt in the room. Otto is a confused young zombie who falls in with a experimental film maker and has some (not very) erotic adventures. This film is famous for a particular scene where a zombie victim, in mid-disembowelment, starts making out with his zombie attacker, who then graphically penetrates the victim's stomach wound. imo, the film tries to be artistic and shocking and fails on both counts.
Porn Of The Dead
The usual unerotic porn performers, overly muscled, shaved, tattooed screw while wearing bad zombie make up with fake blood and gore splashed about. At least the dead behind the eyes look these people sport serves a purpose here.
Grub GirlBased on the comic by Edward Lee, this tale of a reanimated corpse who drifts into prostitution (the undead are considered perfect for the job being resistant to pain or disease), actually works. Not necessarily as a zombie film and not necessarily as a porn film but it works, kinda.
The Night Of The Giving Head
There are actually three films out there with this title, two hetero and one gay, so you could be playing masturbation russian roulette if you don't check which version you have (unless you're bi, natch).
The 2008 version deals with an epidemic which renders all women "sperm zombies" who after tasting sperm, crave sperm and seek out men to drain them. The men, upon ejaculating, are rendered unconscious. Oh, and if a "sperm zombie" kisses an unaffected women, she becomes a sperm zombie too. But they can be cured by spraying whipped cream into their mouths.
Really.
No, really. I'm not making this up.
And the cause of the epidemic? Global Warming.
Honestly, I am not making this up.
I haven't touched Dawna Of The Dead, Dong Of The Dead, Repenetrator or Erotic Orgasm (and possibly a million others) because I haven't seen them and I have no desire to see them. I'm all zom-porned out.
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